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How to Deny the Flesh and Live by the Spirit?

Jesus said:

“If anyone wants to follow Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.” (Matthew 16:24)

But what does this really mean in everyday life? How can we reject the desires of the flesh and choose to live by the Spirit?

Denying the flesh does not mean hating yourself, but rather renouncing selfishness, sinful desires, and focusing on God. It means choosing His will over temporary pleasure. Here’s a practical comparison of what it looks like to live by the flesh versus living by the Spirit in different areas of daily life:

Living by the Flesh vs. Living by the Spirit

Area of LifeChoice of the Flesh (Selfishness, Desires)Choice of the Spirit (Obedience to God)
RelationshipsI seek relationships that benefit me and bring me pleasure. If someone hurts me, I retaliate.I love selflessly, forgive, even when it is difficult. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
Work & ResponsibilitiesI work only for money, avoiding effort.I work diligently, treating it as service to God. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.” (Colossians 3:23)
Responding to DifficultiesI complain, get angry, and pity myself.I accept difficulties as opportunities for spiritual growth. “We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-5)
Purity & MoralityI give in to desires, watch impure content, and justify sin.I keep my heart and body pure, avoiding temptations. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit?” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
Eating & DrinkingI eat and drink excessively, indulging myself.I eat in moderation, treating my body as God’s temple. “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)
Free TimeI spend time only on entertainment, avoiding prayer and reflection.I devote time to prayer, reading Scripture, and helping others.
Decision MakingI make choices based on comfort and pleasure.I seek God’s will and ask for His guidance.
Love & RelationshipsI focus on desires, selfishness, and what benefits me.I build relationships based on purity, sacrificial love, and God’s principles.
Conflict ResolutionI seek revenge, hold grudges, and refuse to forgive.I forgive and pursue peace, even when it’s hard. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:9)

How to Apply This in Daily Life?

  • Ask God daily: “Lord, how can I live by the Spirit and not by the flesh today?”
  • Be mindful of your choices – before acting, ask yourself if it pleases God.
  • Practice fasting, prayer, and generosity to develop self-control.
  • Choose good in small things – from forgiving others to sharing with those in need.

Denying the flesh is a daily choice, but with the help of the Holy Spirit, it is possible! 🙏✨ What are your ways of living by the Spirit? Share in the comments! 😊

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